The hardest thing I ever had to wait for was true unconditional love. See by nature am a giver and have the most difficult time receiving. I often found myself giving all of myself in relationships while I only got a small fraction of the other person back. I spent from the time I turned 17 til I was 28 handing out parts of me to men that I would never get back. It started with my children’s father who I met shortly before I turned 17. See I have always been a plus size person and the struggle is truly real out here. While all my friends had a different date every weekend I could hardly get a guy to look my way so when he started talking to me I fell hard and deep. 5 years and 2 kids later I found myself in an abusive relationship with an extremely jealous man, then while hearing my 3-year-old child crying down the hall about how she hated when mommy and daddy fought I decided it was not going to work and so I packed my bags and walked away. I would love to say that from there I found the man of my dreams but that is not at all how it happened,
I found myself lonely many nights looking for comfort in the arms of many different men thru the years. I would find a guy who I thought was going to love me for who I am and then either days, months or years later I would realize hey this isn’t love and I would walk away. One day after this string of crazy relationships I decided that I was done. I stopped looking, I deleted all the dating apps, stopped wondering if some old lost flame would come and rescue me from the loneliness. I started to fall in love with myself. I took myself on dates, went and got my nails and hair done, hung out with friends who made me happy and caught up with those I hadn’t seen in years. I was truly enjoying life on my own and didn’t really care about finding a man. Yep, you guessed it the old adage is true, this man that is better than any other came along.
We had mutual friends and worked together, we went from hanging out with friends together to hanging out with only each other. I literally found my best friend, we stated up all night talking about everything and like at this point I had sworn off men and had no intention of it going farther than friendship. So just imagine my surprise when this guy started showing interest in me. I was so oblivious I didn’t even realize we were on a date until discussing it with my girlfriends afterward. Our story can only be described as a God thing. It all happened so fast and the things we have overcome in the last 2 1/2 years are things most couples don’t overcome in a lifetime. He is better to me than I could ever imagine a man being to a woman. He takes care of my babies and me and does it all like it is his privilege. So yea the hardest thing I have ever had to wait for is true love, but it is also the best thing I have ever received. To love and be loved in return!